Coronavirus Commandments

Crush The Curve Today -

Many Australians have been unnecessarily confused by the clear messaging of the Prime Minister during this crisis.

We're here to clear things up. If you have more suggestions to add, please email us at lets@crushthecurve.today

  1. It is absolutely safe to send children to school, as there is no evidence they are infectious
  2. Teachers are potentially infectious, but they should go to school. They might infect your child, but children do not exhibit severe symptoms
  3. Children should not stay home from school, because parents may not be able to control them gathering in groups and not infecting people. We don't think they will carefully listen to and follow what our Prime Minister says
  4. Our go-slow plan is great, and as long as everyone carefully listens to and follows everything our Prime Minister says, then our plan is so great
  5. Do not bring your children to retirement homes, as they represent a significant risk to the elderly. The risk is so significant that we have banned children under 16 years of age from visiting
  6. If you are over 16 years, you are allowed to visit retirement homes
  7. Only essential workers should continue to work
  8. Anyone working is an essential worker
  9. Ensure social distancing of 1.5 metres at all times. This is really important, because we are very, very, very concerned about the growth of the virus
  10. Hairdressers can continue working. Social distancing is not that important
  11. Actually social distancing is important when having a haircut. DO NOT have hair appointments that run for more than 30 minutes
  12. Hang on, hair appointments of any length is fine. Ignore the things we said previously
  13. You should go to Centrelink and you should not go to Centrelink
  14. 5 people are allowed at a wedding, 10 at a funeral and 10 at a boot camp. We don't know what to do if bootcamp weddings become a thing.

Join the virtual march on Canberra.

Notice any errors or have any suggested improvements? Get in touch at lets@crushthecurve.today.

We're an open volunteer group of concerned citizens impacted by the current policy position of the Federal Government.

Follow us on Twitter.